Damn Computers!

David working! Once upon a time, computers fascinated me. But that was back in the days when they were kept penned up in special airconditioned rooms, away from mere mortals. In those days, the idea of understanding and even building such a machine was magical. I enjoyed long hours designing and implementing CPU's using TTL circuits. Then, along came the microprocessor. The first ones were a challenge in themselves, and then there was still the joy of adding peripherals, printers, vector graphic displays, tape and disk storage. But microprocessors quickly became everybodies toy, the damn things got everywhere. Even worse, it wasn't long before they ceased to be my hobby and became my job.

Now, don't get me wrong, I am still interested in computers, and in machines in general. But I am no longer totally enthralled by them. Some of the magic has vanished. I would like to say that's because I understand them now, but that wouldn't be exactly true. At one time I did, I could build the hardware and software from the ground up, but no more. Nowadays, computers are just too complex and, to be absolutely honest, I really don't care about the details.

Today, I am a user! I simply expect computers to work and get terribly upset when they don't do what they are supposed to do. Of course, I know why this happens. Contrary to popular belief, computers are not the dumb mechanical things they are made out to be. They are actually highly intelligent and, even worse, they are malevolent! They somehow know when to go wrong. They can predict, with stunning accuracy, the precise moment they should crash so as to cause the maximum possible damage and frustration. If you don't believe me, just wait until you find yourself panicing to finish an important job with the deadline approaching fast. That's when the network will go down, your disk will crash, and the printer will have run out of toner and paper! Mark my words, these are not coincidences. I have spent a long time with these "creatures" and I have learnt their ways. The cartoon, incidently, is of me coming to grips with this reality early in 1982, when I was working for Salter Industrial Measurment in the U.K.